Most of my adult life I thought that taking control was the same thing as leading. Over the past few days I’m starting to question that mindset. I had an experience on Tuesday morning where I had an opportunity to include others in a process and instead, I took control. While I was speaking to the group I was thinking that I was leading, but after receiving feedback from others around me I was actually doing the opposite. I wish I had a do over, the opportunity to not take “control” and instead enlist the group to self organize and make it theirs.
So, where does taking control fit in? Is leadership really about taking action and including others rather than taking control? With a mom who’s a clinical psychotherapist we often talk about the fact that control is an illusion anyway, so maybe that’s what’s going on here. Maybe we can get everything that we want by not trying to control anything, maybe letting go is the answer. I have been reading a lot about living in the flow and maybe letting go of control is all about the flow. The same thing happens when I go into situations with a fixed plan of what’s going to happen and not being open to other paths that present themselves during a conversation. I’ve written in the past about being attached to the outcome, I believe these two items are somehow intimately linked together.
Either way, letting go and not focusing on what we want, but focusing on what the group wants to accomplish seems to achieve more alignment, more engagement and more fun! I’m looking forward to testing this out in the very near future.
Please let me know what you think about control vs letting go.
To connecting the dots ….. one dot at a time!