As we take time to reflect during this holiday season I’m beginning to realize that one of the most powerful road blocks in my life is the concept of judgement. For me it’s seems so easy to judge these days. Are you a republican or a democrat? Are you a pure capitalist or someone who’s interested in using their business to effect social change? Are you a Yankee fan or a Red Sox fan? So many ways to judge people, while Hollywood and Madison Ave don’t help the situation at all. All of the advertising is positioned to make judgements about what beauty is, what we should wear, what we should eat and so much more. The big question for me right now is how to be totally accepting of others where they are and not need them to be anything other than who they are?
I’ve started to realize how the concept of judgement is showing up in my life. As I identify the judgement I begin to realize how I shut myself off from so many people because of how I judge them. My life experience has shown me the exact opposite, people I never thought anything about turned out to be some of the most important and influential in my development. In addition to my judgement of others, I’m sure that some people are shut off from me because of how they judge me. I’ve known for a very long time that I wake up every morning with the best intentions to leave this planet better than I found it. So, if someone doesn’t like me, or the approach I might take to how I live in the world, is that anything I should worry about? I see judgement in my personal life and in my business life and I don’t believe it serves me at all.
Over the past few years I’ve gained immense clarity around who I am, what I am and why I am. This process has been evolving for the past few decades, but has gained immense clarity in the past few years. As Steve Jobs stated in his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University, we can’t connect the dots looking forward we can only connect the dots looking backwards. He continued by talking about the fact that we need to trust that everything in our lives is happening for a reason and that at some point it will all make sense. Our travels to Africa in 2012 opened my eyes to what’s really important in life. Over the past two years I’ve worked hard to re-establish my business life as someone who is focused on using capitalism as a vehicle for social change and not just personal reward. On this journey I’ve met so many people, many who agree with my position and many that don’t. The clearer I am about what I’m looking for in people the more those people start to show up. With this clarity comes an opportunity for acceptance of others or judgement of who they are and what they stand for.
So, what to do with this realization? How do I stop this instinctive judgement and look to accept people for who they are and not need them to be anyone else? How do I stop comparing them to others who align more directly with my beliefs? I don’t believe unlearning these deep patterns will be very simple, but I’ve learned that all great transformation starts with simply noticing. Now that I’ve noticed I’m doing this it might be time to make a change. To 2017 being an amazing year of change and may we all stop judging and putting people into boxes they never asked to be in.
To a life well lived!