When I was at a recent event I saw someone that I’ve met a few times over the past year. This person is very nice, knowledgeable, and on the surface seems like someone that I should like, although that isn’t the case. The same thing happened with someone else last year, so I started to think back to a plethora of people I’ve met that I felt this way about. They were people that I didn’t want to get to know any better, but there was something deeper than that. I believe that the main reason that this is the case is because these people represent aspects of myself that I don’t like, they remind me of me, like a mirror of myself. As I realize this it hits me deep in my soul, why can’t I just love these people and let them be who they are? Why do I need them to be a certain way in order to connect with them?
One of the big things about the person that I met, it seemed like they only express themselves through their intelligence. I get the feeling that they have no real connection to their heart or soul. This might not be true at all, but that’s how they show up to me. Is it possible that I’m totally misreading the person and what I’m seeing is what I don’t like in myself? Or, is it that they remind me of myself at a previous time in my life. I know that I can come across totally focused on my intelligence and don’t connect with my heart or soul. So, this person is a mirror for me, showing me myself right in front of me.
I have a good friend named Miguel who I met through my Rotary club. He’s a wonderfully humble human being and someone who speaks his truth all the time. He spent 27 years heading up Xerox and Paychex here in San Diego and everyone who I’ve met whoever worked for him sings his praises. When I first met Miguel we had some really nice, intellectual conversations about our businesses. It wasn’t until we met for lunch and started to really learn about each other did I let him see my heart. He now tells people that when he met me he found my brain of some interest, while he really became a soul brother when he got to meet my heart.
I have some good friends who are able to just love everyone exactly where they are and not project anything on them. That is something that I strive to achieve. How can I show up every day without judgement? How can I stop looking at people as a reflection of myself and just accept them for who they are? This is part of my work, to just be present and not see people as my mirror. It might sound pretty easy, but I can tell you that it’s not. In the end, I might not want to spend much time with them and not choose for them to be one of my best friends, but the bigger issue is my judgment. I’m learning that the more I share about the truth, the more I share my story the more I understand. I hope that this post is helpful to you in some way.
To a life well lived!