Doings vs Beings
I left the US in January with a pretty clear idea that people needed purpose in their life. I believed that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs needed to be evolved and that in order for us to connect deeply with other human beings we needed purpose. Over the past few months and our travels around the globe, I am starting to question that concept for everyone. I believe that it is very important for many people to have a purpose in their life in order to find more meaning, but I believe it’s even more important to connect deeply with other human beings. I believe that deep human connection, our need for love and appreciation, is what we are ultimately seeking.
Before I left on our global journey I thought that the only way you could connect deeply with others was through shared common purpose, which is the basis of my new book, Success Redefined. But, I believe that purpose is not the only way to connect deeply with others, that there are some people that can connect deeply with others naturally. If that is the case, than I believe they can bypass the purpose step and go straight to human connectedness.
The people that have this capacity are like my wife, the ones who are just beings. They are able to just be, when I, and many people I know, need to do. Hence, the title of this blog; Beings vs Doings. In this context, I’m a doing and my wife is a being. I know how to get things done. I am all about getting things accomplished and checking things off the list. My wife, on the other hand, is all about the relationship. She is everyone’s best friend. She knows how to endear people to her and to each other. There are numerous people that call my wife their best friend.
This past weekend I was at the beach playing volleyball and was talking to a friend I hadn’t seen or talked to since we left. This is a friend who lost his wife a few years back, has done well enough in life to not have to work, so for the past 5 years he has just practiced being. While we were talking he was saying that he has mastered the art of “being” but now it might be time to attend to some doing. With that said, maybe there needs to be a balance between being and doing.
Over the coming years I hope to delve deeper into this issue and see where people are in relationship to being and doing. I will also look to see what they need in their lives to find the balance and happiness that they seek. I originally thought that I would focus all my energy on helping doings find some mindfulness, but maybe helping beings learn how to get things done might be part of the mix as well.
To a life well lived!
Larry Kesslin 