The Struggles
For the past 4 months we have been on this amazing journey, seeing places that I have always dreamed of. We have been blessed with awesome weather for the most part and our actual travels from place to place have been pretty uneventful. We have not missed a flight nor have we had a stay that was challenged, other than having my wallet stolen in Athens, but even that was not a huge inconvenience. All in all, it has been a wonderful trip. Before we left we were told by another family who traveled for a year together that a trip like this will provide you with some of your best times of your life and some of your worst. In this blog I have shared mostly our best stuff but very little of the challenges. So, I wanted to provide a little bit of balance to my positive outlook on life.
First of all, our kids have been amazing on this trip even when they didn’t want to be here. I believe that they both have had numerous moments when they would rather be home than on this trip. I believe that Noah is the one who most misses his friends at home the most. I believe that Drew has her moments, but all in all she is happy we are on this journey. As for Ilise, she is thrilled to be with our family all day, every day, and I believe she wishes we will spend more time together when we return. In the end, I believe that our day to day life, in most respects, will go back to the way it was before we left. Our kids are starting to separate from us, which is only natural, and they have school and sports to focus their energies on, as well as building new friendships and re-engaging with their current friends. They will both be entering new schools when we return and I’m sure they will both find a new set of friends that they will enjoy spending time with, and they will have rough days building relationships with new kids they don’t know very well.
This all takes time, and this trip has shown me that time is our most valuable commodity and it should not be wasted. I am enjoying this trip immensely myself, but a big part of me struggles with the fact that my role in our family is as a provider. As a provider it would be more “practical” to be back in San Diego building a new company so I can provide for the family, but we are still 6 weeks from that happening. I know that everything will work out as it should, that is how I live my life. In the end, my struggle is one that I’ve lived with for many decades, not giving myself the freedom to just be and not worry about so much in the future. I was given the task on this trip to find my smile, and I have figured out where it comes from and I need to hold onto that place more often.
I’m looking forward to the next 5 weeks of traveling and the week we will spend in NYC, as well as the wedding we will attend in Denver before returning to San Diego in late June. I know that there is much to do when we return with the new house, the new business and helping the kids adjust to our new life. These are all things that I think about on a daily basis, the responsibility to help our family create the best life possible while still allowing our kids to grow up independent and self assured. That is probably the thing that I struggle with the most, whether it is on this trip or back at home. Being a good father and a good husband are the top priorities and this trip has only heightened that awareness.
So, where does this all lead? What do we struggle with each day and how to best more forward? I have learned that traveling can change our perspective and it can change how we see others, but we still need to live with ourselves no matter where we are. We still have our internal dialog, some with a higher volume than others. We still have our drive and motivation to be the best we can be, and my drive will follow me wherever I am. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with these questions and I hope that by sharing my thoughts it can help others that are facing similar issues in their daily lives at home or on an amazing global journey.
To a life well lived!
Larry Kesslin 