Heart and Head
Over the past 51 years I have focused my first impression efforts on using my brain to establish rapport and connect with people. I have learned to “match and mirror” people to make them feel comfortable and I have demonstrated my intelligence through whatever means possible to elicit a positive first impression. Over the past few weeks I have started to hear a pretty consistent message, which has probably been there for many years I just wasn’t ready to hear it. The message is that people don’t like me for my head, they like me for my heart. As I start to reflect on that thought I begin to realize that maybe I’ve been going at this all wrong.
For a long time I would just say that “people just don’t get me” if they meet me and don’t have a positive first impression. I wake up every day trying to make the world a better place, I am engaged with my family and try to do whatever my friends might need if they ask. But first impressions haven’t always been positive and maybe that’s because they don’t get my heart, they only get my head. I come off intense and serious, but deep down that’s not the whole me, that’s just the me that has been trained and educated.
So, what do I to do with this awareness? I believe the first step is to stop trying to show people how smart I am, that maybe I should let them into my heart and understand my true intentions. Once they get to know me then I can use my head to deepen the relationship. I am beginning an amazing journey as I move into the next phase of my life, and showing up in the world differently might prove beneficial for those that meet me, and for me. I will keep seeking to become the best person that I can, and leading with my heart might be a great new tool for me to use on this journey.
To a life well lived!
Larry Kesslin 